My Phone Use System: What’s Working and What’s Not

Struggling to tame your phone? Here’s the intentional system I finally landed on after a lot of trial and error—plus what didn’t work and why.

Here’s a breakdown of what’s working, what worked briefly, and what didn’t work (for me).

🧠 Mindset Shift: Embracing JOMO

The real breakthrough for me wasn’t a setting or an app—it was adopting the “Joy of Missing Out” (JOMO) mindset.

I first heard this concept in a workplace training. The speaker said something that stuck with me: “Derive joy from not knowing the breaking news that doesn’t concern you.”

That line helped me see how often I was checking news, social media, or group chats not because I needed to—but because my phone demanded it.

JOMO means you’re not denying information or isolating yourself. You’re just intentional. You check the news, updates, or trending topics on your own schedule—not when your phone tells you to.

🔕 Notifications: Less Really Is More

My current rule: turn off all notifications and work backwards.

• I started by disabling all notifications except for phone calls.

• Then, I turned notifications back on for Zoom, team chats, and calendar events—apps where I genuinely needed real-time alerts.

• Group chats are muted by default. Only @mentions or @all messages reach me.

Yes, this felt awful at first. The FOMO was real. But a few months in, I barely notice it—and I definitely don’t miss the endless stream of pings.

🛠️ How to do this:
Settings → Notifications → Turn All Off
Then, go to each app and selectively enable only what you need.

📱 My Home Screen Setup

Before clearing your home screen, disable “Lift to Wake” or “Tap to Wake.” Now, my screen only turns on when I press the power button—which means I don’t get distracted by every little movement or nudge.

On my actual home screen, I only keep:

• Calendar

• Prayer time app

• A couple of frequently used, high-value apps

Everything else is off the main screen.

🔍 Tools I Tried: What Helped and What Didn’t

Apps like Opal and Freedom helped me curb phone use at night and break the habit of endless scrolling.

But they were too easy to disable.

I still use Freedom on desktop—it’s great there—but I’ve learned I need internal boundaries more than external blockers.

❌ What Didn’t Work for Me

• Grayscale mode
  It made my phone less attractive, yes—but it also ruined the experience of taking and viewing photos of my kids.

• Focus Modes
  These kept silencing important family calls. I didn’t want to keep tweaking exceptions. Since my notifications system already filters noise well, I didn’t pursue this further.

That’s my current system—rooted in JOMO, shaped by trial and error, and focused on being intentional with how I use my phone.